He uses pillows to masturbate.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
