Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
