apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
