Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
