Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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