Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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