shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
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when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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