all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
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Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
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Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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