she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
