come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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