he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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