In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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