Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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