If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
