Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
