Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
