She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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