I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
