I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
