Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
