you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
