Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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