Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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