The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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