we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
