Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
