I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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