Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize