i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize