i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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