that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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