Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
