Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If I die, sorry about rent.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
