i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
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Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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