Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
