singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
