So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just found puke in my bra..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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