You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
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What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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