how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
