bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i think i have two assholes
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
