I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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