We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
