Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
