Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Someone shattered a urinal.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
