WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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