Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
