i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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