sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
