Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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