How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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