mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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