Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
