found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
