There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
