I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
is that a dick in a sweater?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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