I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
