i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
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See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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