We won't sleep together?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
