Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
