This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
