remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize