So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
