she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
